ProgKaZoo Creation

How Gray Built the Ultimo-ProgKaZoo

Building the Ultimo-ProgKaZoo

So, if for some reason you want to take the path to true enlightenment and build your own Ultimo-ProgKaZoo, then you can follow these instructions and refine your own design and method.

Please note that this is only the way that I personally went about building my Ultimo-ProgKaZoo. These guidelines are not a definitive way of doing the job. If you have any doubts about what I've written, then feel free to email me and tell me, but don't follow this stuff, screw it up or electricute yourself then blame me. If you do, you should have known better than to follow internet-based instructions from someone you don't know from Adam who knows nothing but how to use a soldering iron in the first place.

Shopping List

To build the Ultimo-ProgKaZoo, you will need the following stuff:

  • Kazoo (plastic or tin, whichever tickles the fancy)
  • Guitar amp (and effects if your path to Prog enlightenment is true)
  • Guitar cable
  • Tools:
    • Soldering iron (and solder, of course)
    • Knife
    • Scissors
  • Electronic bits:
    • 1 x Piezo mic
      Maplin part code YU87
    • 1/4 inch mono line socket
      Maplin part code HH20W
    • 2 metres of 2-core speaker wire with ground
    • Heat shrink (to cover the two cores in the wire)
    • Cable ties (long enough to fit round the kazoo body)
  • Badge bits:
    • Photo paper (or high-quality, glossy paper that won't fade over time too much)
    • Double-sided sticky tape
  • Insulation tape (I went for black, but be wild and get yellow too for the Stryper effect!)
  • Double-sided adhesive pads
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Building the Ultimo-ProgKaZoo

To build the Ultimo-ProgKaZoo, read (like I failed to do originally) the following stuff. Please remember that I am in no way qualified in electronics or the like, so if my terms seem a little amateurish, then that's because I know no better.

If you see anything that's unsafe in these instructions, then please change it and drop me a line so I can amend this page.

  1. To prepare the cable, strip the wires at both ends of the cable and neaten them off. Make sure that one end is trimmed short so that you can neatly clamp the outer wire to the 1/4 inch mono line socket.
  2. On one side, twist the ground wire round the (if you have red and white cores) red wire and on the other side, trim the wire to the edge of the main cable casing (in my case, this was grey). You may want to tin the cable ends if you are so inclined.
  3. To attach the socket, remove the outer casing of the socket and (taking the end on which you twisted the ground wire to the red wire) solder the white wire to the connection on the back of the socket.
  4. Then solder the twisted red/ground wires to the ground connection (the longer sticky-out bit).
  5. Clamp the prongs of the ground connection around the outer casing of the cable to ensure a bit of durability when whirling the Ultimo-ProgKaZoo around your head on stage!)
  6. To attach the microphone to the cable, firstly, slide heat shrink over the two wires from the microphone and push them out of the way of the cable ends.
  7. Then solder the (in the case of the parts I bought) wires from the microphone to the corresponding coloured wires on the cable. Do this as neatly as you can so the heat shrink will lie tidily over the cables.
    BE VERY CAREFUL with the wires that are attached to the mic as they are very delicately attached and any rough handling or carelessness will result in them coming off, especially the wire that is attached to the middle section of the mic surface.
  8. Push the heat shrink over the soldered joins and use a hair dryer to shrink it, making a nice and neat join.
  9. Wrap the wires that are left exposed with black insulation tape, ensuring that everything is nicely bound and covered up. At this point you should take great care not to pull the wires off the mic itself.
  10. By this stage, you should have a completed microphone for the Ultimo-ProgKaZoo. It's good at this stage to test your mic.
  11. To test the mic simply plug your guitar cable into the socket and your amp and switch it all on. You'll know the mic is fine if you tap the top and you get a nice clean popping noise from the amp. Easy! If this is all fine and dandy, you are ready to attach the mic to the Kazoo.
  12. To attach the mic lead to the Kazoo carefully bend the cable at the point where you originally stripped it to when preparing the end for the mic to be soldered to.
  13. Lay the cable onto the body of the kazoo making sure the cable is straight to the body and that the bend meets the bottom of the funnel on the top of the kazoo. Use two cable ties to fix the cable to the kazoo body, making sure that the teeth section is facing upwards.
  14. When the cable is tight to the body, wind the taped up cable around the funnel and place the mic flat on the top of it. Be careful with the mic end of the cable that the wires stay attached. encourage the cable into place and tuck the wire behind the cable tie teeth closest to the funnel.
  15. Start smoothing pieces of the insulation tape around the cable and the body of the kazoo until you are sure that the cable is not moving and won't move anywhere in the near future. Ensure that the tape goes down smooth so there are no wrinkles. This will ensure the instrument looks neat when progging out.
  16. When this is done, you should have a neatly wrapped Ultimo-ProgKaZoo body with the cable attached and the mic ready to apply. At this stage if you are applying a badge to the instrument, it's best to prepare the artwork and attach it to the mic and not attach the mic to the kazoo body. If you are going to make a badge, skip to the final "Making the Ultimo-ProgKaZoo Badge" section before continuing on.
  17. To attach the mic to the kazoo funnel cut a double-sided adhesive pad into two and trim the edge that over laps the edge of the mic to make it look neat. I put one tab each side to allow the kazoo to "breathe". Be careful not to choke the sound by closing up the hole too much. If you do this, the Ultimo-ProgKaZoo will not bring forth the best sound possible.
  18. You may find that you need to bring the mic closer to the funnel. If this is the case (which is was for me), you can either use a small piece of tape to fasten one side of the mic to the funnel or you can simply hold it to one edge whilst playing. By doing the latter, you have some control over the dynamics of the instrument as you can move the mic around a little whilst playing.
  19. After this stage, you are essentially done. Test the instrument and feel the power of the Ultimo-ProgKaZoo.
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Making the Ultimo-ProgKaZoo Badge

Again, this guide is based on what I did to build my instruments. The sizes will change based on the size of the mic you get, obviously and you will need to consider the applications and the printer equipment that you have access to.

  1. Create an artwork document that is a few milimetres bigger than the microphone circle. Giving the artwork the extra space (or "bleed" as we call it in the biz) will allow for a tiny little bit of movement when trimming.
  2. Get creative and make your badge. Remember to consider that it's got to be striking enough to stand out from the black and silver of the Ultimo-ProgKaZoo body.
  3. Print the artwork on to the photo paper at the highest quality possible. As the artwork will be small, the quality setting will be very important to get the best from the image. The photo paper is also holds the image quite well and doesn't fade too quickly when fingers are put on it.
  4. Put some double-sided on the rear of the artwork, then trim round the artwork.
  5. Peel the backing tape off and CAREFULLY place the artwork on the mic. Take into account that if you haven't fixed the mic to the funnel, which way will face forward when it's all together.
  6. Tidy the fixed badge if needed by trimming the edges to the edge of the mic.
  7. If you need to fix the mic to the funnel, go back to this stage of the construction method.
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